Marriage Tune-Up

This checklist is a starting point for you and your partner to take stock of your marriage and evaluate strengths and growth areas. 

 

Instructions:

 

Take a sheet of paper and write the number of statements you agree with and those you don't agree with.  Take 10 minutes to review the checklist and discuss the points you haven’t marked with your partner.  Take time to hear why they have not marked a particular point.

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1. My partner listens well, makes me feel heard and gives me attention

2. Our marriage is strong

3. My partner notices and acknowledges my effort in the relationship and home

4. My partner supports my beliefs and values, which is important to me

5. My partner shows me affection through touch, like holding hands, hugging, cuddling, etc.

6. We can apologize and forgive each other when hurt is caused

7. My partner can listen to my point of view even when we disagree

8. I can talk openly with my partner about my sexual desires

9. I can talk to my partner about my ambitions and hopes for the future

10. My partner encourages me in what I do

11. We make it a priority to go out together often

12. We often reflect on the good things we do as a couple

13. We can discuss strong emotions such as excitement, hope, grief and anxiety.

14. My partner is sensitive towards my sexual needs

15. My partner encourages me in my spiritual growth

16. My partner is good at meeting my emotional needs

17. We agree on our sexual practices

18. We discuss new ideas with each other

19. We support each other in the goals we have for our family life

20. We have several joint interests that we pursue together

21. I am happy about the frequency of our sexual intimacy

22. My partner is good at listening to my feelings without interrupting or criticizing me

23. My partner never criticizes me in public but instead lifts me with his/her words and actions

 

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*This check-list has been adapted from the Marriage Course Workbook, Quality of Marriage Index (QMI), Relationship Assessment Scale (RAS)